Gonna havta choke a B!tch

So, I know she's Ratshag's girlfriend and all, but last night I wanted to KILLMAIMMURDALIZE Lady Jaina FOOKING Proudmoore. And here's the story of why *deeeeeep breaths*

AC has, for the last 4-5 months or so been going into Tempest Keep and beating up on the loot piñata(s) that are Void Reaver and High Astromancer Solarian, We've recently in the past 6 weeks or so also started taking down Alar, but we're just not all the way there yet to even go look at Kael'thas, SOOOO, whaddaya do?

We go take a look a few weeks ago at Mount Hyjal, they've taken the attunement out, you see. We got Rage Winterchill on our very first try of our very first night in MH, and we called it a night. We went in again, took out Mr. Rage, and called it a night. Last night was different. Last night we went in, took out Mr. Rage on the first try, then decided we were going to attempt Anetheron. So, we get through all 8 of his waves without a single death, start the encounter, and (now here's where I raise my ... typing ... cover your eyes!) GET HIM TO ONE FRIGGEN PERCENT WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN HE'S JUST F*ING GONE! POOF! NADA! No more! What happened!!!?!??!? everyone yells. Then someone pipes up with ... uh, Jaina died. Yes, she died at ONE FRIGGEN PERCENT!

So, we set up, we start the event again, and there are deaths, many many deaths. We just couldn't hold it together. 3 attempts later we're too heartbroken and we call it a night.

We could have had Anetheron on our FIRST ATTEMPT at trying him, could have been 2/5 in MH, but NOOO! Jaina and Anetheron decided to sneak off and have a quickie and leave us all standing there with our hearts in our hands.

Sorry Ratshag, I didn't wanna have to tell you this way, but it looks like Jaina's found someone else....

to borrow a phrase

*SQUEE!*

So while I was off enjoying a nice Anniversary dinner with my wonderful Hubby (BEST SALMON EVER, BTW!), AC was busy in SSC git'n 'er dun.

Yep, AC went in to SSC with only one goal in mind. Killing Vashj. We'd done a 5 clear of all the lesser bosses on Wednesday, with yours truly tanking one of FLK's adds and then tanking Tidewalker. So AC was on a mission tonight.

We've been bashing our heads against Vashj (or Vag, as she's known) for approximately 2 months, she's been pretty bishy, but we've gotten better and better at getting her shield down, and we got her to a heartbreaking 5% last Sunday.

Tonight, 6 tries later, the sea-witch finally ate floor.

Congratulations to AC, and to the winners of phat lewts, I promise I'll be there next time.

In Error

We here at YouHeardItHereFirst News would like to extend our most sincere apology to the wonderful people at Egocorp. A few days ago we reported that Egocorp was involved in a high profile bearnapping, only to find out last night that this is not, in fact, the case. The bear in question - Kelektra, has been recovered; shaken and smelling strongly of fish, from the cave in which she has been hibernating for the last few days.

We contacted a representative of Kelektra early this morning to attempt to get an interview only to be told that she is still slightly addled and may be out of it for a few more days. Her representative did say that Kelektra had been very hard at work attempting to make things perfect for a commemorative event for a dear friend, a fellow druid; though one not of the bear persuasion. [For more information regarding this event, please turn to pages A4 and B11]. It was also inferred that Kelektra has; to put it simply, just not been feeling well, and felt she needed to take some time and get well.

Rest assured that we will have a more full interview with Kelektra as the story is uncovered.

We thank you for your continued patience, and again apologize to Egocorp for our egregious error.


For related stories, see: Shumei, Mage, Teleport, Egocorp, Bigredkitty, Ratshag

This just in

The following report has been forwarded by an anonymous source:

"Late Friday night the mage known as Shumei was spotted outside the Darnassus bank, muttering to himself excitedly. Among the overheard phrases were 'Jaina,' 'new portal spell,' and 'Where did I put that box of chocolates?'. He was then seen making strange gestures, after which he vanished in a flash of violet light. Our tipster speculates that he was attempting the as-yet-unproven 'Teleport: Theramore' spell, apparently to attempt some sort of romantic liason with Lady Proudmore herself."

Due to the untried nature of the spell that he is presumed to have used, it likely that he sent himself to some unknown location. When several members of EgoCorp were contacted, as they were among the last known associates of the missing mage, they denied mentioning any new spells to Shumei, saying that "Anything he gets up to is his own lookout," and "We only asked him to come to the Botanica with us for his polymorph spell and his biscuits, but he barely used those all night. We haven't seen him since he made the portal after we killed Warp Splinter."

Any information leading to his whereabouts would be greatly appreciated! Those of you with tracking and tracing abilities, please be on the lookout for the misplaced mage-- unproven portal spells are particularly dangerous, and could send their users virtually anywhere.

At this time we are unaware of any correlation between the bearnapping of Kelektra and the unforseen disappearance of the mage Shumei. We shall continue to receive communications regarding possible sightings, but would urge you to please contain the information in your tips to what is needed to solve these two mysteries.

{Bear}nap in progress.

Breaking news! First it was BRKWWA overtaking Egocorp, then we see Egocorp denying such allegations, but what no one deems necessary to mention is that there was a bearnap, an atrocious, underhanded, quaintly planned and quietly brought together bearnap.
That's right folks, you heard it here first. Bearnap in progress. Your friendly neighbourhood Kelektra has been stolen by the group of hooligans calling themselves Egocorp. If you should have any information regarding the whereabouts of Kelektra, please inform the proper authorities, which may or may not include Smokey the Bear, Ranger Joe, Tarzan, or KimPossible.
It has been brought to our attention that the mastermind behind Egocorp is unwilling to let Kelektra go without a fight, though we have no idea what Egocorp plans for our cuddly ursine companion. We urge you, please, if you know anything, anything at all that may help, our tip lines are open 24/7.